New Year, New Start
by Ashleigh Crawley
Summary: Cora's first New Year's Eve married to Robert is not just the beginning of a New Year, but a new start for her and the man she loves.


_December 31, 1889_

Cora sat in the Drawing Room at Downton Abbey, hoping 1890 would be much better to her than this year had been. This year, she had married Lord Robert Crawley, Viscount Downton, and she had decided over the past few weeks that she may as well have spent the holidays alone. Robert had barely paid any attention to her at all. She had felt more alone at Downton than she had her entire life. She loved him with all her heart and he didn't return her feelings. When they did speak to one another, or spend time together, he was kind, yet distant, like his mind was elsewhere. In the bedroom, he apologized over and over to her during their nightly encounters. She felt tears come to her eyes, tears that she found herself crying after he left her each night, alone in a bed made for two. Tears of longing for her husband.

She wondered about his strange behaviour of late. He had been more distant than usual and he was coming to her less and less and when he did, he no longer held her like he used to; he simply got up and left. Had he taken a mistress? Was it possible that in less than a year, she had been such a horrible wife, that he had taken a mistress? She knew she continually failed to produce an heir, but she did try. His mother was horrible to her, making her feel unwanted, to which Cora didn't react, she just sat there and took it. It was no use arguing with Lady Grantham.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice her husband come into the room. "Cora," he said, looking at her, moving closer and closer. "Cora, is everything alright?"

"No," she said, not looking up to meet his eyes. "How could everything be alright, Robert?"

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything."

"What do you mean by everything, my dear?" he asked, reaching out and touching her hand, which she jerked back. A frown settled onto Robert's face. Cora never rejected his advances, she leaned into them contentedly.

"I mean everything Robert. Everything. I feel alone. I am alone. I'm far from home in a place where no one even likes me. My husband barley pays any attention to me, he's probably taken a mistress. I'm a failure because I'm not pregnant. Need I go on?" she asked, finally looking up, displaying to Robert the look of hurt in her eyes that was made more obvious by the tears.

"Cora, what have I done wrong, my dear?" he asked. He hadn't meant to pay such little attention to her, or make her feel like a failure, but where did her suspicions about a mistress come from? He could never have anyone other than Cora. "Rosamund, papa and most of the servants like you. And personally, I have stronger feelings for you."

"Hate?" she asked. "Anyway, what are you doing here, talking to me? Don't you have your lover to take care of? She's obviously quite wonderful, since you barely come to me anymore."

"Cora," he said, furrowing his brows. "First of all, I do not have a mistress. Second, how could anyone hate you, you're wonderful."

Cora laughed. "Very funny Robert, nice of you to play games with my heart. That is really low, Robert. I thought you were better than that."

"Cora, what have I done wrong? And how on Earth can I fix it?" he asked.

"You've made me feel like I am nothing, then you come in here, pretending to be worried about me and claiming that I am wonderful?" she asked, she started to sob. "Come on Robert, what happened to the old you? The you that was actually kind to me."

"Cora, the reason I can't be around you is because I get nervous around you. I don't deserve you, I never have and I never will. Cora, please forgive me, you are too good for me. You deserve a better man. A real man," he said, touching her hand. "Honestly, Cora, I haven't known how to tell you, or when to tell you, but the start of a New Year seems the best time of all. New year, new beginning." Robert's voice got quieter the longer he went on.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean that I've fallen in love with you and I've been scared over it. I thought that if I told you, you'd laugh at me and call me silly," he whispered. "I love you Cora, with all my heart and soul. I sincerely apologize for the way I've behaved, but I had to be sure it wasn't a passing thing. And my love for you will never pass, I promise you that. Every time you walk into a room, I feel heat rise in my cheeks and I have to look away because I feel like a silly little school boy. You deserve a man who has cherished you from the very beginning, not a foolish idiot who has only realized it recently."

"Robert," Cora said quietly. "If what you say is true..."

"Yes my love?" he asked. "I'll give you anything to prove that I love you and that my heart is yours."

"Kiss me," she whispered, making Robert smile. He gently cupped her face in his hands, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her's gently. Cora's hands slid up his arms, from her lap, up around Robert's neck, holding him to her as he deepened their kiss. After what could be seconds, minutes, hours, Robert wasn't sure, they broke the kiss, their foreheads pressing against each other, both wearing smiles that they wore on their souls. "I love you Robert."

"And I love you Cora," he replied, kissing her again.

Later that night, at the stroke of midnight, Robert and Cora kissed happily before toasting to the new year, and their new beginning.


End file.
